Monday, August 11, 2014
Praying is something I have always been pretty good at. I always talked to God openly. My fears, my concerns, for others, family, friends, needs and wants. I fully believe in Matthew 7:7-8:
“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.
I know that many things and situations in my life have had God's protection and guidance because of prayer. My prayers and others praying for me. Here is where the problem comes. When you pray for things and people and it doesn't turn out how you planned. Five years ago I was praying everyday for my daughter, son in law and my grand daughter. I was worried for them. I had this worry for my daughter I couldn't explain, so I prayed. Lord protect her. I prayed Lord let your will be done. That is what we are suppose to pray for, right? I remember one night laying in bed just crying praying for my grandchild. Then November came, at 24 weeks Sarah was gone. Is that God's will, really. Well I don't like that will of God! How is this part of the plan. Prayer is suppose to make things better, right? Not always. Sometimes I know God has a different plan. We pray for "Gods will" based on his own Son's prayer. Matthew 26:36-42:
36 Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples,“Sit here while I go and pray over there.” 37 And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. 38 Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.”
39 He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.”
40 Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? 41 Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
42 Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless[a] I drink it, Your will be done.”
So I now struggle with hardcore specific prayer sometimes. I had another moment recently that prayer wasn't exactly answered the way I wanted. About a year ago my Son was having serious marital issues. So I pray for him and his wife. I started with basic prayers, Lord Heal their marriage, Be with my son, blah blah. One night I was just worried. They were having some marriage struggles again. I lay in bed again with tears rolling. I felt like I needed to be more specific in my prayer. I prayed that if they were gonna make that God would move in a big way to confirm this to them and me. Then I prayed, But Lord if it isn't suppose to work out please let it blow up so there is no question. I prayed for it to blow up, who does that. Things seemed to be going good. So I went back to normal prayers. But then, Wow, did I get what I asked for. It was bad and very explosive. Nothing could have prepared us for the hurt and anger that is coming from this. But I prayed for it.......I asked for this bad thing? No! I wasn't praying for bad things. I know these bad things were just happening.
I do not write this to discourage anyone from praying. I believe it is the most important part of your relationship with God. I write it to remind you that even though these did not turn out the way I wanted. I KNOW God has a plan that is bigger then my prayers. I will still pray specifically when ever I can. I believe joy will reenter my sons life. I have two beautiful grandsons and an amazing granddaughter that I get to hold here on earth. I do not have to understand God's ways to have faith in him. Keep praying! Pray for all situations, good bad, ugly!