Grief sucks

Well I am still struggling with the death of my granddaughter. I really want to enjoy the holidays this year. I don't think it is gonna happen. I really wish they would get over. I want the new year to begin. I want a marker that says move on. I am still doing the Beth Moore study Get Out of that Pit. It helps alot. I just really want to focus on God, the new ministry, my health, my families health. Not all the commercialism of the season. I know I should be focusing on Christ's birth now too but it just all feels so off this year. I want it over. I am probably hurting people's feelings by being so blah. I don't mean to and will try to do better. I love my whole family and friends. I just feel a little selfish in my grief. I am not able to share it and talk to everyone about it. That is to hard.

Get out of that Pit study

A pit is an early grave that Satan digs for you in hopes he can bury you alive should you fall into it, make no mistake he cannot make you stay. Ironically neither will God make you leave. Like it or not, some things are simply up to us. .. Beth Moore

My granddaughter Sarah June Beadles was born and died nov 24 2009 RIP babygirl

Spelling!! By the way if you are gonna read my blog. I am not good with grammer or spelling! I will use the spell check and all but well this is me, not a professional writer!! Just a warning.